After reading more than a couple articles on raising a gender-neutral child, I cannot help but to feel bad for the child in this situation. I think that it is courageous for the parents to help their child(ren) become more of their own identity rather than an identity constructed by society. That being said, I do not think it is being approached the correct way at all.
A Canadian couple is choosing to raise their youngest child, Storm, as gender-neutral. Only a select group of people know the children’s gender, and it is being kept a secret from the rest, even his or her grandparents. I love the idea that a child can decide how they want to be treated and how they want to act rather than being told how to by society. But, by keeping the gender a secret, I can’t help but feel like the choice is actually being taken away from the child.
The biggest point I think Storm’s parents are missing is that when, we as humans do not have something to identify with in the beginning, we can end up losing our identity rather than finding it. In an online article by ABC, the point was brought up that, “‘To raise a child not as a boy or a girl is creating, in some sense, a freak,’ said Dr. Eugene Beresin, director of training in child and adolescent psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital. ‘It sets them up for not knowing who they are.’” (Davis & James 2011). Most of us strive daily to figure out who are better, and we have a gender identity. Without that, how can a child even know where to begin? Dr. Harold Koplewicz from the Huffington Post wrote, “Gender is a part of who we are, even if we hope that it wouldn't matter as much as it often does. Pretending it doesn't exist isn't a good message to send to a child-or an infant. It magnifies, rather than reducing, its importance” (2011). Gender identity is sometimes overbearing and ridiculous, and it can be thrown off if that is what someone wants to do. But shouldn’t THAT be Storm’s choice to do so, rather than having to make a choice of who to identify with or how to identify with others?
I think it is spectacular that these parents are allowing their children to be who they want rather than stick to gender-based things. I just don’t think that keeping a child’s gender secret is the best choice in our society. Our world could stand to lose some of the silly gender ideas, but some of the gender characteristics are innate rather than put there by society. Let the child leave the innate and choose the rest.
References
Davis, L., & James, S. D. (2011, May 12). Home> Health Canadian Mother Raising 'Genderless' Baby, Storm, Defends Her Family's Decision. In ABC News. Retrieved February 14, 2014
Koplewicz, H. (2011, May 27). Bringing Up Baby Without Gender: A Risky Social Experiment? . In Huffington Post. Retrieved February 14, 2014
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